On Sunday, after I got home from fighting with a can of Redi-Whip, I started making chili for The Hub. Well, it wasn’t like fighting with the whipped topping was a planned activity or anything….It was more like both of us were at the potluck after Meeting for Worship and a fight sort of broke out between us.

I’m thinking the Redi-Whip did not feel personally moved by the Peace Testimony, because it was definitely the aggressor in this situation. Everything I did was purely in self defense. I didn’t antagonize it or anything.

All I did was pick it up....

turn it over and press on the part of it that is supposed to result in whipped topping coming out the end and winding up on your pie. In my case it was pumpkin pie….but, by the time it was all over, there was whipped cream on a number of other things on the table.

Anyway, nothing came out of the can. I shook it and tried again. Oh, I thought, it must be clogged, and held it closer to my face, peering into it to see if I could unstop it. I didn’t touch it, but I guess it was on delay or something, because I little bit of topping jumped out and hit me in the eye. That startled me enough that then I did press down on the pump, with the predictable result of me shooting whipped cream up my nostrils.

I made what I am sure was a very rude noise and looked around to see if anybody noticed. Luckily, a wise older gentleman was speaking, and since he’s slightly deaf, at times he’s a little loud.

I picked up a napkin and got myself together, then tried again, orienting the Redi-Whip over the pie slice and pressing down firmly. The product shot out the sides in all directions at once, narrowly missing the speaker at the table, and creating a heck of a mess.

“Tea, what are you doing?” someone asked.

“Um.” I said, looking helplessly at the whipped cream. “I think I’ll just clean this mess up”

“Oh, she’s not good with anything mechanical” someone else said as I went into the kitchen for the paper towels. And that’s true. But I never thought of the Redi-Whip container as being machinery!

When I got back, there was a perfectly proportioned dollop of Redi-Whip on my pie slice. It looked like one of those ads for the product, where the whipped cream is sitting there all crinkley and patterned on the sides with a meringue-perfect point at the top where the person took the can away.

There are, evidently, many gifts but the same Spirit.

However, all of this is a huge digression from what I was trying to tell you happened while I was making the chili. Oh, heck, I’ll have to tell you tomorrow. I have too much work to do now.

Stay tuned.

Oh, you want to know what the “Quaker Password” is?

“Potluck!”