Well, I went to the doctor today. I might as well have taken $75 in cash and flushed it down the toilet. What a nightmare!

I went to the PromptCare, which is where you're supposed to go instead of to the Emergency Room if you are a responsible person. I explained that I had just gotten over a really bad asthma attack - that I had taken my Advair to break it but that the Advair is too expensive for me to take all the time and I was trying to figure out if there was something else I could afford to take.

"We don't have any free samples of Advair" the doctor, for whom English was a second language, said.

"I didn't ask you for a free sample!" I said, a little hotly, "I'm trying to figure out how to help myself out here."

At which point the doctor ignored me completely and began talking to The Hub, who looked up, bemused from his MHIC study guide.

When I finally managed to attract her attention again, she told me I would "Just have to make due with over the counter things" and "try as much sudafed as you can tolerate." ( to clear up my sinuses)

I was so mad I was practically seething. It was one of those fairly rare occasions where I didn't dare speak for fear that something completely inappropriate would pop out. I wrote a check with trembling hands and left.

"Oh, you've got one of those Russian doctors - Dr. PissMeOff" Friend Will quipped sympathetically. He could tell how angry I was even on I.M. Not only could I not spell, I wasn't even using punctuation.

"Wow" said The Hub, "It's too bad Dr. Lusby wasn't there. When I went she gave me all kinds of samples and only charged me $35."

I sighed deeply. That's because The Hub is an attractive man with problems that, while serious, are straightforward to treat - i.e. there aren't 101 possible causes and treatments for heartburn. As a patient, I suck, because too much is wrong and I'm probably not going to get all the way better. Doctors know this and have a "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out" attitude.

Anyway, once I got home and calmed down ( which took awhile) I started to try to think about what could have been the "trigger" for such a bad asthma attack. I went to my brother and sister-in-laws house for a party on Saturday. It was terrific fun, I saw people I hadn't seen in years and caught up with them....but it was after the party that I began to feel really bad.

Their house is like an asthmatic heaven. Not only is it totally clean, they don't have any pets and they have one of those air filters that keeps the dust down. All I could think of that I did was eat a LOT of dip. I love dip. There was crab dip and vegetable dip...there was egg nog. That's a lot of dairy. Hmmm.

So maybe I'll go back to the soy milk and avoiding ( sigh) dips and cheeses. I have to do something.

After all, it isn't like medical people are going to give me any help.