Well, no luck on handbag recovery so far. After the police left - I have to say that the police were very professional for such a small town - I realized that my digital camera was in there, as well as the last of my good jewelry that I was going to take to be appraised before I put it up on ebay. What initially looked like a pretty minor theft is in fact the theft of some of the most valuable items I had.

The loss of the digital camera is especially hard. Not only was I coming out of my shell, creatively, because of it...because of all the guidence I'd been getting from the CMPG, but it was a crucial part of my little ebay business. I haven't been making a million bucks on ebay, but I have paid the grocery and power bills with it. It turned out to be much better than Avon.

The worst part is that I feel like somebody stole All Around the House. That cell phone, which I had to cancel service on, IS my business number. It's on all my cards, all the flyers I have hanging up everywhere. A new phone number makes nessasary all new business cards, etc to say nothing about the loss of business if anyone calls and finds that number disconnected. And I simply don't have the money for new cards and flyers right now. All my clients phone numbers were in my planner, my appointments, contacts.

I'm out of options. That jewelry was the last thing, held back to the very end, in terms of what valuable things I could part with to keep the business afloat. I was hoping that business would improve for me this month, that I would not have to put it up, but was taking it to be appraised to see what I had. Now, when the rubber hits the road, as it is bound to do when new clients can't reach me, I have nothing I can think of to fall back on. This theft could not have come at a worse time.

I have always trusted that the money to run the business would come from somewhere - "Wherever it is at the time" - because I honestly believe that this is the work that the Lord has called me to do. I tried not to worry, just to pray....and when money came in to pay things I was grateful to have it, not upset if it wasn't right on time. If I didn't have the money for something I figured I must not really need it anyway. I tried to do a super good job for every customer to generate referrals....I have 2 ladies who are supposed to call me for work - on my now defunct cell phone.

Maybe, some way, good is going to come out of this. Maybe it will happen in a way that I can't see at this time. Maybe the person who stole my purse, really, truly in some way needed those items more than I did.

And, don't get me wrong, I know it could have been a LOT worse. I know that if the dog wasn't here they could have gotten in and taken The Hub's wallet. I'm glad he barked and startled them into dropping my check book and bank card.

But I just feel like a shadow of myself today, up and walking, but not really there.