...no, I haven't suddenly become an O'Riley style conservative. Rather, the washing machine has bitten dust. It fills with water, but it doesn't aggitate, or spin. Well, okay I'm pretty aggitated about it, but the washing machine itself is non-functional.

So. I got out the manuel ( The Hub was working at The Depot) and read up on trouble shooting the washer. Of course, if I'd had a gun, I'd have simply shot the washer. But I am beginning to suspect that, if I had a gun, that would only jam or break too - probably right after I managed to shoot myself in the foot with it. So some of the best luck I had this weekend was that I do not, in fact, own a gun.

But, I digress.

The point is, that I was going to see if I could do anything to fix the washing machine....

I read the manual. It said helpful and practical things such as "make sure that the washer is plugged in" and make sure the circuit breakers are on". It also said that if the hose is kinked up or the washer is not level then the machine will not spin or aggitate. I crawled back in behind the washer - this being easy to do since the dryer, which started to catch on fire, is no longer in the way - and grabbed the exterior hose. I felt along the whole leangth of it for anything that migh be blocking it, and I shook it loose so there were no kinks in it. I went back into the room which used to be Dad's workshop and looked around for a level, since it seemed quite likely to me that the washer had become unlevel as a result of The Hub and three volunteer firefighters yanking on it to try to get at the back of the malfunctioning dryer. However, all of the levels are in The Hub's Jeep, which he had driven to work......

Where he was now out of gas.

"What do you mean, you think you're out of gas?" I asked him. While it's true that the gas guage in the jeep has never worked, it's also true that The Hub is one of those people who can calculate miles per gallon in his head. If I had a vehicle with a non-functional gas guage, it would be an outright problem, since I'd have to take a calculator with me everywhere I went to figure out how much gasoline I had. Not that I don't take a calculator with me everywhere I go in general, because I can't do any math in my head.

The point is that, for The Hub, this is just a minor inconvenience which, to him, in no way detracts from the rottwieler like dependability of the Jeep. In fact the jeeps name is "Carl" after the dependable dog in the children's picture book who takes Baby on all kinds of adventures while Mom assumes that the child and dog are both sleeping peacefully in Baby's room. Also, the interior of the jeep is black and tan, "like a rottwieler". Thus the name.

I don't want to hear that most people don't name their vehicles. Most people don't have any imagination. Most people - oh, heck. This is my blog, okay? It's just how we are.

"Well, the thing is, it might not really be out of gas. I'm just hoping that it's out of gas. It could have some other kind of problem. The thing is, I'll need you to come down and get me. It's not running."

"No. It can't have any other problem. It has to be out of gas." I said. That's one way to solve your problems: just deny reality. Okay, that's kind of insanity. But, if you really go nuts, you actually don't have any problems - you just become a problem to other people.

"Well, maybe it is." he said, "I gotta get back to work"

I spent the rest of the day having the worst PMS I've had in years. I was so nauseated, achey and crampy that all I wanted was to feel better or die - but I didn't care which.

Luckily, the jeep WAS just out of gas, and Friend Will and Jenne invited us to their house for pie.

And there is very little in this world that cannot be cured by good friends and pie. I felt 100% better after visiting them.

On Sunday, The Hub leveled the washer, but it didn't solve the problem. So basically, if you try to wash clothes at my house, the washer fills with water, the clothing kind of marinades in the soapy water, then the water drains out and you have to carry a basket of clothes, which, by virtue of the fact that they are sopping wet, weighs about 80 pounds up the stairs, through the kitchen, and around the house to the clothes line. There IS a basement door, it's just blocked by the carcass of the dead dryer. I see the laudramat in my future.

"Wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't the dryer that caught on fire at all, but the washer?" The Hub asked.

"I don't think 'funny' would be the word that would come to mind." I said, dryly.

It was about 1:00 in the afternoon. We were sitting in the Bob Evan's Restaurant near our house, eating brunch. We can't really afford to eat out, but, I was so sick to my stomach I felt like all I could eat were biscuits to absorb the acid ( since all I'd had to eat on Saturday was a banana and the pie). And we were of a mind to celebrate, since the jeep really hadn't needed repair - you can get something good to eat there for less than $20.00 including the tip.

Of course, my car still needs to have service. On Sunday, the car made an astonishingly weird noise, the check engine light went out, and the car began to drive normally. While I very much wanted to beleive that prayer had healed the car, everyone else feels that, while the car may have "grace" ( as in a grace period), it really ought to go into the shop anyway. And, I suppose I can see their point. After all, there's not even anticdotal evidence that prayer heals cars.

But something good has to happen soon, right?

While we were in Bob Evan's, a well groomed man in a suit, who was seated with his wife at the table accross from us. They had obviously just come from church. They were an older couple, and the lady was still stunning looking. Her makeup was perfect, she had a nice figure, her hair was that silvery white that everyone hopes for as they age, but few people get. The man called over the very busy waitress to his table and announced loudly, "I have a complaint!"

"I can't wait to hear what it is," The Hub said, under his breath, "Guy looks like a toad, sittin' there with his good lookin' wife. Ya'd think he'd count his blessings."

I wouldn't say that the guy looked like a toad. However, The Hub had a much better view of him than I did.

"These pancakes are too big!" Mr. Toad said, crossly.

"Excuse me? I beg your pardon?" the waitress asked.

"Look at them! They're huge! How am I supposed to eat this? It would take a half gallon of honey just to make these edible, to say nothing of the butter!"

"Oh, the humanity!" The Hub muttered. I started to laugh.

God bless the waitress, she was very professional. She offered everything that could possibly solve the problem: extra honey, extra butter, a box to take the offensive pancakes home in to eat later. "You can even ask, the next time you order, for smaller ones. Tell the server you'd like the five inch diameter instead of the seven inch diameter."

I was laughing too hard to see what happened next. I guess they took their mutant pancakes and went home.

But they reminded me that luck, or indeed blessings, are very much present or absent depending on where and how you chose to look at things. For instance, it could be said that these last months have been nothing but astonishingly good luck for me: after all, I was able to work out this rental with my parents, we've been able to work out forebearance with our creditors, my health has been good and so has The Hubs. We were fortunate to be HOME when the dryer began to smoke, and lucky both vehicles take us anywhere. We have jobs, we have work, we have food and shelter. Certainly we have the support of family and friends! We have the mastiff and the pair-a-tweeters. And we still have our sense of humor....and perspective....

Lots of people use the laundramat every day, without a word of complaint. Heck, I did it for years with unblinking efficiency. And there are people in Africa or India that would switch places with me in a heartbeat. People to whom my complaints about the non-aggitating automatic washer would be as funny as we found the complaint about the too big pancakes!

So, I've got the car scheduled for service on Wednesday, we've got wood for the fire, I went to the grocery store and bought good, sensible food. And it's the first day of spring, the season of hope. Maybe it'll snow tonight, but the days of snow, and cold, and sluggishness and dreariness are numbered. The rain may indeed fall on the just and the unjust alike, but the flowers bloom and the sun shines for the wealthiest and the lowliest alike and I plan to enjoy the spring, no matter what, with my eyes wide open and laughter in my heart.