Well, not really. That's the attitude I'm trying to have. Even if money in is never "easy come" and certainly very "easy go" it's that attitude that will lead to me having a healthy heart, a more pleasant demeanor and a happier marriage.

Or at least a marriage in which my long suffering husband doesn't have to listen to me scream for 20 minutes "@#%&! Spark plugs! Whaddaya mean $420?! What, are they made of gold or something? Whaddaya mean parts of 'em are?! Oh for S**** sake, you gotta be effin' kidding me! I understand about the labor, you gotta take some kind of big heavy thing off to even get to the spark plugs. I don't expect anybody to work for free - far from it. But that's pretty much the ENTIRE tax refund - gone, just like that! Not even touching any existing bills - and that's without them cleaning the fuel injectors!! &*%$ PT Cruiser - that car wasn't my idea in the first place, all new and spiffy. I'd just as soon drive a POS that's easy to work on. This car costs a fortune every time a mechanic touches it 'cause all the parts are jammed in there like sardenes. He's cussin' too! Agghhh! Ugghh! Wah!"

Okay. I got that out of my system. Thank you.....

The part of me which is rational - not my screaming Id which seems to be so close to the surface these days - is grateful that we got the tax refund and thereby have the money to fix the car. If not, I'd just have to putt-putt and backfire my way through my drive until I either had the money or something fell off.

I wonder if my id, what I think of as my "pre-rational brain", is what people mean when they talk about "getting in touch with their inner child"? If so, getting in touch with my inner child would be a seriously bad idea since it would just scream like the dickens and kick anybody who was remotely within reach in the shins. That inner child needs a long time out in a closet and some serious ritalin, or whatever they give to kids who are bouncing off the walls in a storm of malcontented energy.

Of course, the little demon is a lot more active when I'm in pain, which I am from my stupid back. I thought that I just had PMS but now I realize that the problem isn't going away, it's getting worse and spreading. Both legs are weak and I'm back on the cane. I'm hoping it's just a flare up of the previous inflamation problem which pops up from time to time - change of weather and all of that. But this time all the pain is centered in my right hip - it's very hard to sit for any leangth of time. What's really bumming me out is that the pain in my lower back isn't just staying in my lower back but creeping up my spine. I've been taking some Naproxin that was perscriped for The Hub but it isn't helping.

If I go back to the chiropractor, I'll probably get good results but that's a lota co-pays. Chiropractic doesn't work all at once: you have to keep going. I could go to my doctor and hear what he has to say, but he probably would only refer me to a specialist and I'd get stuck in a tube again. An MRI. I'm not really claustrophobic, but every time I get in one of those things I have the irrational fear that I'm going to get launched out the other end like a ballistic missile.

Of course, at this point, that might be kind of fun. At least it would be a change of pace, and, regardless of what problems developed from it at least they'd be different problems from the same old ones I have to keep dealing with.

By the way, The Hub took all the laundry down to the old house and did it down there. Smart guy, that Hub.