Have you ever noticed that there’s a large percentage of managers who can talk without moving their mouths? I wonder if this is some kind of natural outgrowth of saying things through clenched teeth, as I imagine they all must have done in countless meetings on their way up the food chain – er, I mean, ladder of success.

They have other bizarre habits born of having to maintain secrecy, oh wait, confidentiality in the office. Holding the receiver of the up at a weird angle so it covers up the extension of the incoming call, or talking with their hands cupped – it just looks like a casual “laying a finger aside of his nose” type of thing if you use your imagination. You’ve seen this. You know what I mean, and then the manager in question winds up, instead of looking thoughtful, looking a great deal like a squirrel that just found a particularly good acorn. I mean these have to be acquired habits right? Everybody who’s a manager can’t just be rodent-like by nature.

Can they?