Last night, we finally put up the Christmas tree. The Hub is all about having a Christmas tree. Personally, I could take it or leave it. But, what the hell, it's the custom of the country, and I've already turned the poor man from a happily t.v. addicted, gotta-get-newer-better-stuff, American-Dream Republican into an enthusiastic recycler/composter and sharp critic of popular culture. So the least I can do is try to get into the (secular) Christmas spirit a little.

So the other night I went out to Big Lots and bought about $50 worth of junk (read "decorations"). Last night I did the mantle-piece with fake holly and greens, little plastic fruits, candles, and pine cones dipped in gold colored paint. It looks better than it sounds, really....

Besides this is our first Christmas in our new house, which is my old house, the one I grew up in - at least the last 7 years or so. We hope to be able to buy the place from my folks soon - then I guess it really will be our new house. I don't know. And besides, my dad talked my mom into an artificial tree years ago ( it's from my dad that I get the "take it or leave it" attitude toward Christmas. His parents used to say, "You know, Christmas is just another day to us" and, as a child, I thought that was horrible. But by the time I was 25 and realized that there was no amount of velvet ribbon which was going to result in "The Perfect Christmas" I knew exactly how they felt and was grateful to them for having said so)

Anyway.

We put up the Christmas wreaths, and located the beautiful nativity figures The Hub bought me for Christmas last year. They're main stream folk art, but I'm VERY particular about what I'll have for a creche, and for years didn't have one at all, because I refused to use one that I considered disrespectful or inappropriate (that would be almost all of what's on the market)

The Hub strung the tree with lights and didn't cuss. Like I said, he loves all this stuff. And besides, when Angela was living she was a Christmas Tree fanatic. When they were married she used to make him re-arrange the branches of their live trees by means of a saw and drill, and put up a fabulous collection of old fashioned glass ornaments, tinsel, etc. They might have been a lot of work, but those trees were always beautiful - they were like works of art - and each ornament had a meaning and a story.

The cat came out and sniffed it. The dog and the pair-a-tweeters had been through this before, though the tweeters showed a higher level of interest then the dog who slept by the fire through most of this. K-bird sat on her swing and played with her hatch-day ribbon, unconcerned. I brought her over to the Christmas tree and told her what it was again. The truth is, I've been telling her for a week about what a Christmas tree is, what it looks like, where we were going to put it, etc. You'd think birds would be sanguine about trees, but it isn't like they have blue spruce in Senegal, and parrots can sometimes get quite scared of big new things in their surroundings. However, she took it all in stride.

And then, much to the delight of all the birds we followed our most time honored secular Christmas tradition: The playing of the Dr. Demento Christmas C.D. It has The Hub's favorite Christmas song "The 12 Pains of Christmas" featuring a talented mimic of Archie Bunker "rigging up the lights", and my cherished favorite "Rusty Chevrolet" which is sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells". It takes me back, yes it does, to my youth, and my first car, which was actually Ford Mavrick....but it was the first of many cars I would have similar to the dear red-neck rolls royce of the song.

Here, as my holiday gift to you, are the lyrics. Feel the joy, everybody!

Rusty Chevrolet


C'mon, cmon!
C'mon, you can do it!
(car starts)
All right!
Dashing through the snow
in my Rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go
Sliding all the way
I need new piston rings
I need some new snow tires
My car is held together
By a piece of chicken wire
CHORUS
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke
The door just blew away
I light a match to see the dash
And then I start to pray
The frame is bent, the muffler went
The radio, it's okay
Oh what fun it is to drive
This Rusty Chevrolet
I went to the IGA
To get some Christmas cheer
I just passed up my left front tire
And it's getting hard to steer
Speeding down the highway
Right past a county cop
I have to drag my swampers
Just to get the car to stop
(chorus)
(instrumental)
Bouncing through the snowdrifts
In a big blue cloud of smoke
People laugh as I drive by
And I wonder what's the joke
Got to get to Wal-Mart
To pick up the lay-away
'Cause Santa Claus is coming soon
In his big old rusty sleigh
(chorus)
- The Da Yoopers