On Sunday The Hub and I did a little bit - a VERY little bit - of Christmas shopping. It was not easy, because I don't have anything remotely close to the energy level I had last year. I moved some stuff around the both at WAM, stopped for lunch at the coffee shop, then went over to the mall where I was able to basically visit one store then sit on a bench while The Hub went into Radio Shack to look for whatever it is men look for in Radio Shack.

And when I got back home I was so tired I was shaking. So I was really geared up for "Cyber-Monday" - the online equivalent of "Black Friday". My debit card was ready, I had money in my account and ideas about what to get everybody. This was going to be a snap! Right?

Right......

I didn't buy a single thing on line. Nor have I ordered anything via mail order. I know, I know, that's what I said I was going to do. It was just, well, I couldn't get into it.

This has made me realize something important about the way I shop, especially for gifts. I pride myself on being able to get someone "The Perfect Gift". I don't always manage it, but it's never for lack of trying. Oh there've been some notable failures, such as the time I WAY over estimated my dad's interest in cooking and bought him a cook book, and the time I bought Theresa something she already had. And while in our fast paced modern society many people just go for the gift card - I've given gift cards too, to people I'm convinced really want them - and lots of people have let go of the idea of finding something Really Special for each person on their list.....I've had to give up a lot of things this year, and I'm not ready to give that up.

But the thing is, the gifts I have given that people seem to like the most are never on the person's Christmas list. In fact, I get a thing on the list as a back up, or use a back up gift card in a small amount. What I do is go into a store that reminds me of the person and then think of them. I wander around thinking of them. I think of what their house looks like, what their clothes look like, and replay recent conversations I've had with them in my head, all the while scanning around, half listening to conversations around me and trying not to fall over into any displays - at least not any expensive ones. Meanwhile, the poor Hub is obligated to come along, looking a great deal like a male Canada goose protecting his mate, running interference, catching me when I wobble, pulling me out of a rack of sweaters into which I've fallen face first, and trying to hear what I'm asking him over the noise of the maddening crowd. This cannot be fun for him.

Then I pick something up, and look at it. I look at the price, look for a sale price, try to remember if I've bought them anything else. I imagine the person opening the gift. I see the thing in their hands, the look on their face. If I can't picture a truly delighted look (or, in the case of my father-in-law him taking it out of it's packaging and / or poking at it. He was an engineer before he retired) I put it back and keep going.

You can't DO that on line. When you shop on line you have to know what you want. Browsing "Gifts for Mom" or "Gifts for Him" is useless. My mom is definately not like anybody else's mom, and none of the men in my life have any of the same interests as each other (well, except for watching things blow up on television and poking around in Radio Shack) let alone with other men in general. Do you know that I do not know a SINGLE man who watches NASCAR? Not that that's a bad thing - I think it's great. I only know one guy who plays golf. None of the guys I know are rabid sports fans. My ex used to fish but only in a very off and on kinda way. My relatives are all workaholics: they could really use a day at the spa. Bet that would go over with my father and my brother like a wet cookbook.

sigh.