I thought I might actually have an ordinary day today. Did you know that's the tag line for Pepperidge Farm products: Never Have an Ordinary Day. They came out with that slogen in 1999 I think, and when I saw it I just started laughing. I cut it off of a box and stuck it on my computer when I worked at the engineering firm. The engineers all came by and looked at it and couldn't figure it out, and finally the most conversant one said, "Tea, I don't think there's any danger of that happening."

And he was right.

Still....

I had gotten through one cleaning job this morning with nothing stranger than an unusually groady toilet and went on to The Land That Time Forgot to help out Island Girl....Well, actually something which would be weird any other place but in The Land That Time Forgot happened there too.

I was running a little early, for a change, and I was having a little trouble with my leg where the metal plate is in my ankle sort of holding it all together. I didn't want to let that escalate into something unmanagable, so when I got to the church parking lot, I pulled in, turned off the car, and leaned back my seat to relax/meditate/calm down / shift gears....whatever you want to call it. As I did it I thought - Sir Salesman will come along this road any time ( since it is the road to his house, though not the only means by which he could reach the main road) so I'd better be sure not to fall asleep: he'll surely stop to make sure I am all right

And, sure enough, I heard one vehicle pull in very quietly, and almost at once another one. I opened my eyes and Sir Salesman was approaching my car smiling, "Did I wake you up? I didn't scare you?" The word "scare" came out as "skee-ah" because of his Boston accent. "No, I didn't." he concluded.

I think I told you: this guy can read people like road map. He's sharp.

I did what I think of as my "flightless bird" imatation, where I act a lot more groggy/muddle headed than I am. It didn't strike me that, "No, I was expecting you" would be the proper thing to say.

"You're all right, aren't you?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, just, you know, catching a little rest. Switching gears before I go down to see Island Girl because, you know, I try to be real cheerful in your house."

"I know you do. That's what I thought. I do that a lot myself, in between calls. You have no idea (i-dea-her) - well, no, I guess you do. But, listen, you can come in the house a little early and just say 'I gotta rest my eyes for 5 minutes or so' because you gotta- did you see those phone guys?"

"Phone guys?" I asked.

"Right before I pulled up, they were pulling up behind you....some kinda phone installers. In my mind, I was kinda thinking you were all right, I was gonna pass by and I got a look at those guys and - they pulled right out as soon as they saw me. You don't know any phone guys do you? And Island Girl said you got that breath-ah bothering you."

"He seems to have quit." I replied, "It certainly was very good of you to stop in case I had been sick or something. No, I don't know any phone guys, though I DID hear someone pull up. I was actually pretty alert. Really."

"All right then - you stay alert. And go by and see my neighbor about some dog sitting. It's an Irish Sett-ah"

So, that was weird, but honestly, because this happened in The Land That Time Forgot I didn't think too much about it until I sat down to write this evening.

Then, I went on to do my marketing and had gotten through almost the whole thing without incident. I was putting my groceries up on the belt and I grabbed a bag of lemons, swinging them up onto the conveyor....just as the twist tie gave way and the Gay Infantryman who works at the store was coming around the corner. ( I'm not calling him anything derogatory. He is a wonderful cheerful man who always talks about serving in the army and wears a gay pride button on his lapel. When I asked him about it, he smiled and said, " It means YES I AM!") This was a big bag of lemons - there were lemons EVERYWHERE! Flying though the air, rolling along the floor, bouncing off of the cashier at the next work station.

The Gay Infantryman did what I think must have been a well drilled duck and cover move ( Incoming!) to avoid having his glasses knocked off by my produce projectile "What the-" and then he looked up and saw me and smiled and said, "Oh, okay, it's YOU!" And cheerfully began to help me gather up the lemons. " How've you been?"

No wonder I'm tired.