When you're married to a guy as sweet as The Hub is, you have to reconcile yourself to the idea that there is going to be competition. And no woman is ever going to fully captivate a man. We can't be each other's whole world, every day all the time. I'm a grown up. I can accept that.

But, alas, I fear I have lost him forever. No, there's not another woman. It's worse. He hooked up a television in his workshop!

And, no matter how hard I try, I just don't seem to be able to compete with the t.v. Thank God it's only network...he hooked up wiring to the existing anntena on the roof. If it was cable, if I had to compete the Nazis on The History Channel, Bob Villa on home improvement, and whoever the current New Yankee is on the New Yankee Workshop I'm pretty sure this marriage couldn't be saved.

As it is, nothing I can offer him in the way of conversation, or even affection competes with the compelling "Doink-Doink" of a Law and Order rerun.

There's no point in filing for divorce because it would take a process server years to find him down there. And even if I ever managed to get somebody to serve him with papers he'd just take them with a distracted, "yes dear". Possibly he might notice I was gone when he came up out of his cave and found he had eaten all of the Toastidos and hot dogs, and there was, in fact, nothing cooking for dinner.

But I worry that he would just take that as a sign from God that it was okay to sign up for cable again and he and the dog would simply order a pizza.

Sigh.