Due to residual lack of self confidence, and against my better judgement, this morning I went on a one on one interview with that company that has "opportunites" for financial planners. You know the type of company they are: "you too can make a million dollars!" and "I started with nothing and still have most of it left!". They don't advertise, don't pay you, and, in fact, don't do diddily-squat. They give you "support" and "training." Yep. I can run my mouth for free also.

The thing is, a motivated, hardworking person probably could make a lot of money doing that type of work. But it's intense. And it's numbers driven. And I've been a human calculator before, or something like it. Except for that it is of help to other people and it involves organzing things, everything else about it goes against my nature. Besides, I have questions about the kind of "support" I could get from these folks who are trying to recruit me.....

Keep in mind that these are salespeople. Relationships and first impressions and impressions thereafter are their life. Yet, I had to send Lt. Sales guy 3 different e-mails telling him that the directions he sent to me via e-mail did not open in my computer. Once when I sent him an e-mail, he replied to me with the exact same e-mail he had initially sent to me. At first I thought, "Well, okay, you make mistakes at work and you hope people will forgive you, or maybe he had an assistant answering this for him who didn't read it closely." Then I went to the seminar, which took place in the evening, and met the man, and he seemed as all right as a financial planner can seem.

Then I got passed off to one of his "team members" a lady who said, I think, that she was formerly a school teacher. She reached me on my home phone. "Oh, I was so afraid that I didn't have the right number. I called about 5 times and hung up each time. Who is Governer Winston Pepperoni anway?"

The reason for her question was because of the message you get if you call my house. I speak with my best diction and much more slowly than normal, which hearing impaired friends tell me can make all the difference in the world when they get a recording ( which is why I did it) "You have reached ###-###-####, the home of Governer Winston Pepperoni, Violet Allegra, Abendigo and the Koi Brothers, and their human family. Please leave a message"

"He's my dog." I answered. "Violet Allegra is our cat, Abendigo and the Koi Brothers are our fish. My husband and I are their human family."

"Oh, wow, that's a laugh! I spent, like, 20 minutes on the internet doing a name search on Governer Winston Pepperoni!"

I thought she was kidding....in fact, I thought she was chiding me, that, as a job seeker, I ought to have a more clear message. And she really had listened to it, or at least played it, 5 times - there were that many hang ups when I went to get my messages. So, my point is, she had to let it play through 5 times, otherwise, the hang ups wouldn't have been recorded.

Then I went to the office space again and saw the v.p. again. He's in his 50's and said he was retired milatary. He was wearing a pale blue shirt, red tie, navy blue jacket and foundation - no lipstick or mascara. Just foundation. And a poor match to his skin tone I might add. It was very obvious, because of the way the light shining in the windows hit him.

"Hi I'm Lt. Sales Guy! And you are?...."

Okay. I've sent this man about 10 e-mails and also met him two weeks ago. I had an appointment to see them on this day at this time. Also, I'm almost six feet tall and have flaming red hair. Perhaps my business attire the last time made me kind of forgettable, but you'd think he'd at least check his appointment book for the name.

So I gave him my name, to which he said, "It's nice to meet you."

"We've met before" I said, so taken aback at having my hand firmly gripped by a Lt.Colonel wearing Maybeline that my manners apparently fled the scene in horror. I've only ever known one other man who wore makeup. It was my co-worker at the furniture store, who was openly gay. He was young and had a slight build and cultivated that sort of "fey creative guy" image. He felt that it evened out his skin tone and it was only noticable in the direct light of the office. In the soft light of the sales floor I could not tell the days he wore it from the days he didn't even when I was looking for it. He had a friend who worked in the cosmetics industry give him a private consultation.

Which, Lt. Sales Guy could have definately used. Note to anyone selling Mary Kay, Avon or other cosmetics - clearly there's an untapped market somewhere!

Then I went in and got the next part of a canned spiel from the Saleslady School Teacher. She was very personable, and went through her speech like Grant went through Richmond. It was like being speed talked at. I was afraid that if I asked her a question she would explode. So I just sat there nodding, making comments and generally trying to put her at ease. Towards the end, she did slow down a little and she brought up the dog again, calling him " a masteef" I don't know where she got that pronounciation from. She knew he was a big dog. She told me, in the way of building rapport, that she had taken quite a bit of ribbing for her internet search and problem with the phone number. " I kept saying 'No, it says I've reached some Governer's mansion.' Then I tried to find out who I was calling. My husband said, 'well, when you got to the name Pepperoni, didn't that kind of give you a hint that it might not be a person? ....Do you have any questions for me?"

Of course, I wasn't going to ask her what she thought I could learn from someone who didn't understand my answering machine message after playing it through 5 times and spent a significant amount of time doing a web search for a public figure named Governer Winston Pepperoni. I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing the balance of my checking account with this person, let alone asking her for a retirement plan.

Maybe I'm being to harsh. After all, everybody gets nervous when they have to do interviews, and God knows I've given many a speed sales pitch in my day. But after getting fired from a job for saying "you know" and "um" too many times in a conversation I'm starting to have somewhat higher standards.

Still, I don't think this company is much of an "opportunity" for me.