Yesterday I went to the office Christmas Party with the boss and the uber boss. It was a little weird, in the way that office parties are always weird.

For one thing, the uber boss harrangued the boss mildly during almost the entire drive into Baltimore about our sales statistics. The boss was trying to explain that the way in which the uber boss had compiled her statistics was fundementally flawed. Specifically, she was using our sales data to compare with public information on sales data from another property, the builder of which is going out of business. There were so many ways in which the uber-bosses...

statistics were wrong, it was almost mind boggling (i.e. comparing two properties vastly offering wildly different types of products, such as townhouses to condos, comparing our property which had less than 100 units for sale at the time it first came up for sale to a property that had almost three times that number, etc, etc) Since she wasn't talking to me and I figured it would take several hours to clear the issue up - even if she felt like listening to me - I confined myself only to clarifying points my boss was making in her own defense.

Finally, the uber boss almost caused a 5 car accident in which I would have almost certainly died, and to my vast relief she decided she couldn't argue and drive at the same time, so she steered the conversation onto a more friendly topic.

For this I came in on my day off I thought to myself. True it was only for a 3 hour lunch party, but office parties, especially for an introvert like me, are WORK. You will never catch me saying that there is any such thin as a free lunch.

Not that I don't appreciate the efforts of the company to put on a nice party. I do appreciate it. After all, they don't have to do it.

Still, I found the venue a little bit bizarre. It was a Brazillian Steak House in Baltimore called Fogo de Chao The North American locations are, presumabley, far enough away from any place that has anything to do with authentic Southern Brazillian culture that there was no risk of any real gauchos stopping by to laugh their heads off. The whole time the truly charming Mexican-American waiter was flirting with my boss in his pristine uniform, complete with spotless red kerchief knotted around his throat, I had the same weird feeling I get when visiting New England style seafood places outside of New England or places which claim be about "Chesapeake Bay" or "Mid-Atlantic style" food any place else.

I'm not condeming the choice of the place. I'm more condeming the place itself for existing to be chosen. I mean the food was quite good. And so was the wine (and oh yes, I had some! How else would I have stood the noise level from a party that big?) The food was just all about meat. I mean MEAT. From what I understand, beef plays a big part in Southern Brazilian cusine...I just don't think that the real thing is about quite that much excess. Though maybe I'm wrong. Frequently, things which seem excessive to me don't elicit comment from anyone else.

It was also that not-uncommon-around-here, though still somewhat culturally jarring holiday gathering best described as a Jewish Christmas party. Almost all of the upper management of our company is Jewish, and some of these folks are fairly devout. However, most of our "rank and file" employees are non-Jews and I think it's really very nice of the owner / president to spring for a frank Christmas party. After all, it's a mark of true class, in my opinion, to defer to the traditions of guests when hosting a party - and the true mark of a lady or gentleman manager to participate in a gathering outside of one's own traditions with good grace. Still I was a little alarmed that the only people who, so far, have shaken my hand, looked me in the eye and sincerely wished me a Merry Christmas this year were wearing yalmukes. Every one else who has said it to me has done so with a jutting chin and harsh voice which almost dared me to "make something of it". It dampens my holiday spirit (which was never all that high to begin with) to know that the only people who haven't been throwing the phrase "Merry Christmas" around like a social hand grenade are those that don't have a dog in this fight to begin with.

The only people who could have possibly been upset at this party were the vegetarians, who, wisely and without any discernable malice, skipped it.

And I ate too much meat.