"...for a bird of the air will carry your voice, or some winged creature tell the matter..." --Ecclesiastes 10:20

Who is this mysterious winged creature? Light hearted as the air, she laughes at world, the wise, and herself - but watch out if you tread on the humble or the meek. You may find This Winged Creature has told the matter...

Wed Oct 05, 2005

Takin' Home the Flamingo [Job-In-A-Box]


Do I dare to ask if my life could get any more stressful? No, actually, I don't dare.

Now I have to start looking for another job while working 45 hours a week here because I certainly can't afford to quit. I have put forth a huge effort at caring and doing enough improvement day by day so as not to give them a reason to let me go early. And I'm SO TIRED! Working this job was all I could do before. Now I just feel like I'm ground down to a fine powder.

Lots of people have given me advice about how to keep this job - like for good. Lots of it is good advice. But I don't want to stay here, not even for the time being.

For one thing, when I asked if there had been a "loss of confidence in me" in the review, my boss said no. But the look on the face of her boss said it all. I have no future in this position. The only thing that could happen here is for Things to Get Ugly.

And, unlike the people in the old ciggarette ads, I'd rather switch than fight. If something's pointless, I don't usually feel like putting the effort into it when I'm well. How much less so now when I'm depressed and sick ( or maybe just depressed. Or maybe that's the same as being sick. Who knows?)

Nope, I'm takin' my flamingo pen Theresa gave me and moving on. There has to be a place in the world where people like me, along with our flamingo pens, are welcome. I know they must be few and far between. I know it'll be hard to find one, and that I ought to just focus on a stable, safe job that I can do for the time being til I can get myself together....I'm willing to do that. But I've given up so much already! There's no way I'm ever going to turn into a "Good German" and just look at my feet whenever somebody says something racist - and, notwithstanding that - these people are breaking the law! This isn't a good company to work for. They've already been through two clean cut, well mannered, white techs who didn't know a darn thing about the job in the time I've been here.

And I'll be #5 on the list of "wash out dispatchers" in the last 18 months for these people - which makes me think it's not JUST me.


Posted by Ginga Cool Cat at 7:59 AM | Comment on this entry

Comments

You know, when you find that place to work you need to tell me about it. My experience at FraudWide combined with your experience tells me that our problem is either wide spread or limited just to our genetics. Whatever the case, you know I'm pulling for you and you know you're not alone in this. Just look at me.

Posted by: yobruva at October 5, 2005 3:58 PM

a company that goes through 5 people in one position in that short period of time obviously has a problem -- and their problem is not you. their problem it's clearly them.

Posted by: Donna at October 5, 2005 9:40 PM