While taking a lunch break yesterday, I noticed that someone left a "More" magazine in the coffee room. For those of you not familiar with the plethora of magazines aimed at women ( The Hub says "aimed at making women feel bad about themselves")"More" targets women 40 and over.

At a quick glance it appears to be a magazine for and about empowered women. Women who have been there, done that, lost the tee shirt. Jodie Foster is on the cover of the October issue in a low cut blue dress...

all the women they feature are over 40 and fabulous looking. Okay, it's a good image, I guess, to depict middle age as being the prime of life. After all, it is. The trouble is most of us working class women don't have access to the same spas, personal trainers, nutritionalists, etc as the stars...and even if we did, when we have our picture taken nobody deletes our fine lines through the magic of photo shop. But, whatever.

Upon closer examination, though, the articles are depressing. "More" is really "more of the same" with articles on makeup and cosmetic surgery taking up a higher percentage of it's pages than last month's "Glamour" magazine. ( no, I didn't sit down and compare them page by page - it's just an impression)We've got celeberty interviews with people who, while I grew up hearing about them, have no relevance to my day to day life, "over 40 fashion advice" which turns out to be the same advice as "under 40 fashion advice" - wear black, wear shoes the same color as your pants to look slimmer, don't wear stripes accross your breasts if you don't want to emphasize them, and it's not a good idea to have your neckline down around your navel if you want to be taken seriously at work.

And speaking of work, they had an article on how to get the most out of "the prime of your life" at the office. Hmm, I thought, though still skeptical, this might be news I could use. Advice for prime of life women in the workplace! Except for -- you guessed it -- it's the same advice I've been getting from the glossy media my whole working life. In this article, I'm supposed to avoid acting like anybody's mother ( presumably that goes hand in hand with the advice given to younger women --"remember that your workplace is not your family")don't admit to having a "senior moment" ( the corallary to the advice to the young "never admit you're hung over") avoid making cultural references that younger people may not get, and dress for success. I have a question. At what age are people SUPPOSED to get my cultural references? After all, as a younger worker I was supposed to avoid talking about anything made my bosses think I had something in common with their kids, making some of my most beloved entertainment such as Harry Potter, The Muppet Show, and blogs forbidden topics. Now I'm not supposed to mention Gilligan's Island? Look, at what point am I going to be able to read whatever I damn well feel like in the lunch room without a bag around it, use my flamingo pen with impunity, and post my highly witty calandar featuring Kermit the Frog?

I'll tell you when. Starting right now!

I had always been hopeful, being a somewhat serious person, or at least someone to whom "gravitas" came naturally, that eventually I was going to grow into myself. That, at a certain age, it was all going to come together and my aspirations and dreams would match my age and station in life.

It ain't gonna happen. To be myself I'm just going to have to be myself. My mother, who is in her 60's and very wise, talks about having an "if not now, when?" attitude. I think I've got to take that attitude a little earlier.

This could be fun!