Well this is it. The worst that could happen. Nobody has a job, nothing is on the horizon. I've been unemployed one whole day and already I'm sitting around in sweat pants.

Happy St. Patricks Day.

I did have a job interview on Monday night. The guy, who was looking for someone to manage his custom kitchen business, was a genius. He told me so, several minutes into the interview. An observant man and skillful interviewer, he noticed my slight limp imediately, and, before I even knew what I was saying I had answered about 10 illegal questions about my health. After a few minutes of giving me the shocking truth about his previous field: "I had a degree in biology but could only get work as a tech. Could you believe NURSES were making more money than I was?!" ( Um. Could that be because they actually save people's lives, hold the hands of the dying, and are with people through some of the most difficult and painful moments they ever experience? What a concept!!) we moved on to my qualifications. He was very suspicious the idea that I had an English degree. How many credits of hard science had I taken?

"Well, you know, this was almost 10 years ago. It's a little hard for me to remember."

"Surely you remember what classes you took?"

"I'm just saying I've had a lot of work experience between then and now." I said gently, "but, if it's important to you that I remember, I can tell you that I took botany and a physics class which was not required for my major."

"What kind of physics?"

"The physics of light and color"

"Oh, so that was more of an art class. How many credits of math?"

"Art? No, it was taught by -"

"Did you hear my question?" he asked, in very much the tones of a-trying- to- be- patient- teacher.

Thankfully, the door opened. It was a customer who wanted to know if he was open. He was not. He had not been for several hours, but still he invited the woman to come in and look around while he conducted the inverview in the middle of the showroom.

"Yes. You asked how many math credits I took. I didn't take any."

"You didn't take ANY ! Well how far did you get in high school?"

"In math? I took algebra." I answered, truthfully. I didn't tell him I passed with a D.

"What number falls between 75 and one fifth and 76 on a tape measure?"

"I'm sure I'd need a tape measure to find out."

"No you don't. Don't you know how to set up the problem? Do you want a piece of paper?"

"Why would I want a piece of paper? If someone asked me that question on the job I'd take out a tape measure and look at it."

"Do you know what the word 'of' means?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, to stunned to be offended.

"In math, do you know what the word 'of' means? What's one third of one fifth?"

"Mr. Genius, really, I'd rather not sit here and do math problems."

"Well, this it what the job is all about!"

"Oh, well, good then. I'm so glad you said so. This would certainly not be the job for me. I'm looking for something where I can, say, help customers, expedite orders, maybe some light bookkeeping, oversee jobs...you know, make sure everything turns out all right for everybody. I'm not much into setting up formulas to answer questions I could answer more quickly with a tape measure." I was still smiling, but I was standing up.

"You don't know how to set up the problem do you?"

"I'm sure I haven't thought about it in 20 years. So no, at this minute, I don't."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

The spirit of the Pussycat Spy Force was cetainly with me, because I threw back my head and laughed - really laughed, thinking Buddy, I'm not the one who ought to be embarrassed here. "I'm not embarrassed. This is why we do job interviews, so we can find the right match. And I truly wish you luck in finding the right candidate. Have a good evening."

But, I admit, by the time I got home I was crying. "Have you ever been asked to do math in your head in a job interview?" I asked my bewildered Hub.

"No. I've never even had to do math in my head on any job except as a carpenter. What, did he want you to program the computer?"

I explained the whole thing to The Hub who just kept shaking his head. "Stop it! You are not defective! Your brain is not fried! Some genuis that guy was. He had the social skills of a waterbuffalo. It's because you're a woman and you have such a kind face...people just ask you anything. He just wants to hire some chick who's going to think he's the smartest man in the world. Did he ask you one thing about your experience? Remember your theory about people who open their own business 'cause they can't get along with anybody else? He was just one more case in point."

I'm convinced this kind of thing only happens to me. Please, if anybody has ever had a more bizzare job interview, tell me about it!!