Whoo, another day at the job-in-the-box. It's raining really hard here, dreary, nasty, traffic snarlin' rain....worse then snow in this town, really, on account of the low spots and standing water and all of that. Anyway I survived. I did not wig out when The Great White Liar picked up his long green wrist guard ( you know, for the computer keyboard) and put it between his legs like a - well, you know- and did an obscene dance....apparently just for something to do. ( though I did ask him if he had ever, in his life, been embarrassed about anything. He said he had. I'm thinking that's another great white lie)

Anyway, to avoid having to get involved with temporary jobs such as this one while my business is getting started ( and I hope it gets started here soon!) I signed up to become an Avon Representative. I even have my very own official Avon Website, which you can visit by clicking here and using "Unique 1" as your pass code. I'm still trying to upload a photograph that I got The Hub to take of me on Sunday, but it's not working out. Come to think of it, this may be a blessing in disguise.....

I know, Avon, it's such a cliche, but really, it has a lot to recommend it. I did it in college, the last time my financial situation was totally chaotic, and it was just enough to carry me through. They really do treat their representatives well, have high quality cosmetics at reasonable prices, and are associated with things I can really get behind, such as empowering women, breast cancer research, and anti-smoking campaigns. Not that I'm one of these "kill the smokers" people - I'm not. If you want to smoke, go ahead, they're your lungs. The Avon thing is about the "circle of support" - that is, they donate to causes associated with trying to help women who have decided to quit tobacco get the social support they need.

I got my first order already ( thanks Mom!) but this time I don't feel like I can just say to my family and friends "hey here's a brochure, check it out". I don't think that will quite do what I need. Then I'll be stuck in an office with some guy using the ergonomicly correct office equipment for God-Only-Knows-What-All. So I've decided to canvass local neighborhoods.... Avon recommends that you use "the power of three" - that is, talk to 3 people a day, five days a week about Avon.

Because it has been too wet to canvass, I've had to do my brochure pushing in social situations. You cannot imagine how hard this is for me. I know that those of you who have met me in person may think of me extroverted, but that's not true. Sure, I'm friendly. That's a different thing. And curious. So most of the time my curiousity about people and tendancy to like them overcomes my fear of them. But that doesn't mean that I'm not afraid of them. I am a true Isabella Meyers-Briggs model dyed in the wool introvert. Talking to new people scares the crap out of me.

It's easy for me to "canvass". I'm selling something. People have some idea what I'm going to say, I have some idea what they're going to say, ( "get off my lawn or I'll sic my dog on you!"... "Is this your dog I'm petting here Sir?".... "grr. Damn dog" ) it's like I'm playing a part. It's very easy to do the role "Avon Lady" since I really do like the products and think they're a better deal then the stuff at the drug store or, especially, the cosmetics counter.

It's in social situations that I have trouble. Where you're supposed to have a good time...whatever that is. Let other people get to know you, find out what you have in common. Yikes! In 10 minutes people find out that I am insane and have such a minority veiwpoint and mindset I have nothing in common with anybody except any pets who happen to be present. If I'm lucky they find my ideas quaint and quirky and sort of treat me like any pets who happen to be present.

It isn't that I have trouble getting people to talk to me, either. In fact, the opposite is true. EVERYBODY talks to me. People in parking lots, on buses, in the market. They ask my opinion about the hot food bar. They ask me to reach things on high shelves for them. I once had a lady in a pet store ask me, actually, demand of me, that I pick up a parrot so her child could see if it bit people ( I don't think all of her neurons were firing in the same direction, but still)! A very common thing is what happened to me in the print shop when I was picking up my cards: an elderly lady came up and started telling me about her best friend who needs a kidney. And no I did NOT offer her one of mine, I only thought about it! "You have such a kind face" people say to me. I think that is code for "not pretty enough for anybody to think you're a snob". "you should have no trouble selling Avon."

I try to picture it. ...." so, then she only had 15% function and she was so tired she couldn't even move...."

"Say, would you like an Avon brochure?"

Okay. No. That's not going to work. I don't think the Lord gave me whatever kind of face this is to sell stuff.

So I'm going to cheat a little. Here's me:

now pretend I gave you a brochure. Okay! We're done!