It's official. I am now the business manager of The Hub's handyman business. Not that I'm getting paid for this- at least not directly. But marriage is a partnership and now a partnership is a partnership. This oughta be an adventure.

The Hub and I have a lot in common but two very different ways of reaching the same goal. I'm an "audio learner" - I remember everything I hear. He's a "kinestetic learner" - that means he remembers, perfectly, how to do something someone shows him, and relies on systematic ways of doing things. He is completely practical. My mind wanders all the time. He can engineer an elegant solution for every problem. I can negotiate a solution to every problem.

The Hub is like NASA. When NASA first started going in to space they had the problem that ball point pens wouldn't write in zero gravity. So they put a bunch of engineers on the problem who promptly invented a pen that would write upside down, in zero gravity, withstand G-force, etc....

When the Russians encountered this problem they used a pencil.

So, the stuff that seems to The Hub to be a Really Serious Problem often seems like no big deal to me, and vice versa. And sometimes problems develop for him that I can't even figure out how they happened in the first place. Take today for example:

He had gotten some paint for a customer at the Duron store. The guy at the Duron store convinced him that the paint he was given was the color he requested...even though it didn't look anything like the paint with the same color name that was already on the customer's shutters. In fact, the paint he was given was bright pink. The paint on the customer's shutters was burnt umber.

But the paint guy compared the series of numerals next to a print of the color name with a series of numerals he had used to mix the paint. He showed The Hub that the series of numerals matched up. And not only for The Hub, but also for the paint guy, this abstract fact of these numerals matching trumped the fact that the paint was bright pink! So, The Hub left and talked it over with the customer, who did not want bright pink shutters, though, wierdly, the matching numerals thing seemed to hold a lot of water with him too. Both The Hub and The Customer were mildly freaked out: an alpha-numeric system had produced an unacceptable result. There was nothing to do but turn to someone who could match color for help, an "artistic type" someone with a good eye. That would be me, to figure out how to match the paint on the shutters.

"Why can't they do that at the Duron store?" I asked.

"Because they don't have a computer to mix their paints. They do it the old fashioned way."

"What does a computer have to do with matching the paint?" I asked.

"Honey, that's how paint is matched. These old fashioned places, when they mix paint do by a formula. They can't scan a chip."

I stood there looking at the phone like it was a foreign object. "Maybe I'm not getting what you want me to do. If you're thinking you need a computer to match the paint, what do you want me to do?"

"Just find another shade that's as close as possible." Without a computer?

"But what did the Duron store say was the next closest one?" I asked, outloud.

"The Duron Guy didn't say. He said the pink was right because the numbers matched. He says they can't match paint there."

I felt like I had fallen down a hole. Finally I said, "You don't need a computer to match paint. My grandfather used to do it by eye. On the job site!"

"Well, that's probably what you're going to have to, you know, make him do. Only you'll have to look at it to make sure it's right. 'Cause he's clueless. Also, I lost my receipt."And you're saying the guy at the Duron store is clueless? "This is aweful, Tea. I hate to ask you to do this. You haven't got a leg to stand on in there. The numbers match up!"

I had two legs to stand on: a dark orange shutter and a can of bright pink paint.
"Um. Okay. Tell me where the pink paint is and let me have one of the shutters and I'll get it all worked out for you."

I called the Duron store, arranged to speak with a manager, explained the problem and told him I'd bring everything in so we could "work something out." I showed up with the pink paint and the dark orange shutter and said, "As you can see, there has been a mistake."

Wordlessly, the fellow pulled out a fantail of paints, and handed me a bright pink color chip. "That's Cobblestone." he said tersely.

"Yes, I can see you're right about that. But, you mentioned on the phone that your records indicate that 'Cobblestone' is also the color on this shutter. Since the end customer never painted these shutters after the original contractor gave you guys that information, my husband didn't ask for it by color, but by house number. Could be any kind of mistake. Maybe some data entry problem. The main thing is, I need repaint the shutter the same color it is now."

"Oh. You just need a color match! Well, that's not too hard....but let me check my records again." Within a minute and a half he determined that the color that was needed was called "Historic Cobblestone". "Must've been some kind of misunderstanding. Well, that coulda been our mistake. You just want to swap for the right color?"

"That would be great! Another satisfied customer!" I smiled.

I drove the right paint out to the job site within 1/2 an hour. I tried to explain to The Hub that it was no big deal....but I think that was the wrong approach. I think I should have let him go on thinking that I'm some kind of Goddess of Negotiation....at least until tomorrow.