"Oh dear, according to this Feng Shui book there's a reason my business is in the toilet!" I said to The Hub. He looked up at me over the tops of his glasses. "It's because the toilet is in the 'creative endevours' section of the house...so my business is in the toilet... because my there's a toilet in my business section!"

"Dear God, I sometimes wish I was married to a normal person!" he said, shaking his head, going back to typing up his estimate. I was just laughing. I'm not big believer in Feng Shui, but I am sort of interested in the "interconnectedness of all things" theory ( a very ancient concept that modern physics has just lately grasped through sophisticated mathematics from what I understand)

My business isn't, exactly, in the toilet. Clark and Theresa's mom have some work for me....but Mrs. B. called me up and told me she had to have too much outside work done at her house to also afford a housekeeper. I told her that was okay, that I understood, which I do, though I was mildly crushed.

However, a light is beginning to dawn on me....

and, I have all of you, my faithful friends and readers to thank for it. I've been feeling like, as heartfelt as my wish is to be of service to other people through All Around the House Unlimited, my plan to make that the "goal" of my life is missing the mark. It's like I presented this great, altruistic plan - my plan - to the Lord and said, "Whaddaya think?"

And he said, "Er...well. Not exactly."

At which point, as a Christian, I decide to get mad at the Holy Ghost for not being more clear ( sorry, there's that old Catholicism commin' through again - "Holy Spirit")

But then, at that point, The Hub gets mad at ME. "You've recieved a calling! You sit at that computer and work on those ads and those forms and that blog and your e-mails....and they're all great but you can't figure out why you have like....this credibility gap as a cleaning lady. You need to write. Write articles. Write fiction. Hasn't everybody told you you could develop those blog entries into essays and surely you could sell them to somebody!"

He goes on, "You're like the man whose house is flooding and his neighbors come by in a boat and tell him to hop in, but he says, 'the Lord will tell me what to do. He'll save me.' It gets so bad he has to go up to the second floor and the fire and rescue guys come by and tell him to get in their boat, but he says that the Lord will save him. Finally, he's up on the roof, the water is rising, and the rescue team makes a last ditch effort. They send a helicopter and send down a basket for him to get in and ride to safety. But he refuses, and says that the Lord is going to save him. Then, a big wave washes him off the roof and he drowns....He gets to heaven and meets Jesus just past the pearly gates. He tells Jesus that he's really happy to be in heaven, but he's confused. 'Lord, I don't understand. I had total faith that I would hear your plan for me, and you would save me, and I witnessed to everybody. I don't understand why you let me drown. And the Lord says, 'Well, I sent two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?!"

All of you who have left me such kind comments, and given me such encouragment in person ( you know who you are) have been my "two boats and a helicopter." I'm not going to give up on All Around the House Unlimited...but I'm going to change my focus so that it will be to me more a means to an end. The means to stay out of insane workplaces and free my mind so that I can write.

Why am I telling you this, you may ask. Well. It's like this. I felt like I had better make a public announcement. Since everybody knows I'm a "bird of my word" ( "A good name is rather to be had than great riches..." that's from Proverbs, but I'm to lazy to look up the chapter and verse this minute.) my public commitment will keep me from getting scared and wimping out on this commitment. So you're all my witnesses.

Help.

I wonder if I can move that toilet....