Well, it looks like Mr. C.B. will be out of the hospital tomorrow. That's a good thing. I was worried because I didn't have much work lined up for myself this week, but it turns out that the C.B.'s needed me almost every day so far. So I'll let God be my business manager. He does a great job!!

Computer time had been at a premium here at the nest of Some Winged Creature, as The Hub finished up his final project for his class. I'm proud of him...but I did stay out of the office, and, indeed, out of the house for long periods of time while he wrangled with the computer.

That's another thing in my closet of worries: any day now this little old Sony Vio computer is gonna bite the dust...and since right now I don't have enough extra money for contact lenses or a haircut, I can only hope this thing waits just a little longer before it goes for a long dirt nap. But, I suppose I've got enough to worry about without imagining the worry of the computer breaking down....so I'll just do a Scarlett O'Hara and worry about it tomorrow.

I also have to get ready for my Avon Grand Opening and Flamingo Unveiling which is set to take place at the end of the month. Yep. I'm going to unveil flamingos at my Avon Grand opening....just because I'm pretty sure no one else has ever done it. Not real, live flamingos of course, though they probably wouldn't have any trouble with the Maryland weather - I think live flamingos would really freak the cat out. To say nothing of being way outside my budget right now....Can you even buy a live flamingo? Where would you get such a thing? Probably e-bay.

The point of making my Grand Opening Party so wackey is that I want my neighbors to come and see that I am not some demon Avon Lady that is going to call them every two weeks and hassle them to buy a lip gloss to save me from financial ruin.

It seems as if everyone has, at one point, run into a real hard driving Avon Lady which has made them nervous of placing that first order. My mother had one who kept saying "I have to pay for these catalogs! If you don't place another order soon I won't be able to give you another book!"

To which, my mother said, "For crying out loud, I didn't ask her to leave the books in the first place and I only ordered from her to be polite." Of course, she didn't say this to Dottie, the Demon Avon Lady. She said it to me. Also, Dottie the Demon Avon Lady used to wear really scarey red lipstick. You could kind of tell by looking at her that she was a Demon. I have a vivid memory of her coming by the house in some fancy land yacht during the winter. It must have been around Christmas time. She didn't even turn the car off when she stopped in the driveway, and she handed my mother a rumpled up bag through the door for which my mom gave her a check. Those scarey red lips parted into THE most fake smile I have ever seen, before or since. Her eyes landed on me - then about 12 but I always looked older. And I was a disaster of braces and glasses and scraggley hair and I could SEE her think "Cha-Ching!". From then on all the books contained small samples of stuff for teenage girls like acne scrubs and whatnot, for which, I guess she imagined I was going to beg my mother.

That backfired, because she wasn't observant enough to see that the single only thing I had going for me at that age was that I had very good skin (and it also wasn't like she took the time to talk to me, or ask or anything). And I never begged my mother for anything, though I did hint outrageously for a pair of boots that Christmas. I was big in to hinting outrageously at that age - in fact, that's still my style. In a family of people who ask for things directly it's a stupid, ineffective style. In fact, it's a stupid, ineffective style in general, especially in since I speak so directly about everything else. But asking for things - even saying "pass the bread" at supper - is just really tough for The Winged Creature. Who knows where that came from? Anyhow, the poor Demon Avon Lady did not have a brat in the house of her some-time customer, my mother, and she was very frustrated.

However, I suppose she did get a bit of my soul in the end, because the first makeup I ever tried was Avon. My mother allowed me to start wearing makeup when I was 13, about the same time as the other girls in my class started wearing it. She let me try out those lipstick samples Dottie left. I used to like Candid perfume, which Avon still sells, along with Sweet Honesty. And, I remember that those samples were so much better than the stuff I bought with my allowence at the drug store. But, I was definately too scared of The Demon Avon lady to place an order with her! It would have never entered my mind.

So, that's why I'm having a Flamingo Unveiling and also wackey party games at my men-are-welcome, "fun first, sales second" Avon grand opening. Probably, my neighbors are just going to think I'm nuts: but it's a HAPPY kind of insanity, and it's safe to place an order.

On my honor, I solomnly promise to never harangue somebody about the cost of a .19 cent Avon catalog!