Did you ever, when you were in high school, stay up really late watching old, black and white monster movies while drinking a lot of caffine and reading stuff for your literature courses? Then go to bed and have really weird, fast paced dreams? We went and saw the movie "Van Helsing" tonight and....that's pretty much what it was like. I enjoyed the movie, though I suspect I may have been laughing in places that the director didn't intend to be funny. I also think that it contained one of the best lines I have ever heard in a film of this type: " I think, if you're going to kill somebody you should just do it and not stand around talking about it." I was also pretty impressed by how the Frankenstien monster got better looking as the movie progressed. Okay. Now you can say you read a film review....

We fired up the grill and had hot dogs for supper. We ate outside on the porch. We have a white lilac bush growing right by the back door and it produces such a wonderful fragrence that you just want to sit there and soak it in. I even got to use my cute little yellow checked vinyl tablecloth. It was cool.

Fortified, I decided to bite the bullet and do some door to door canvassing with the Avon brochures in my neighborhood. I only took five catalogs with me. I figured there was no point in carrying a huge stack of them, since I wasn't just going to leave them, willy nilly, on people's porches and stuff. The catalogs aren't expensive and I don't mind dropping them off with people who just want to look at them. But there's no point in leaving them with folks who will just file it in the trash without even a glance, or who already have a representative. And besides, these people are my neighbors and I don't want to clutter up their porch with something that would be trash to them.

So, I put on my makeup the way the D.M. showed me, said a quick prayer, gathered all the courage my little introverted heart could manage and set out up the street. Neighbor to the right of me: No thank you. Next house, "Sure I'll take a catalog. Are you the woman with that enormous dog? God, it'll take all your earnings to feed him!" Next house no answer, but guy in the back yard next to that one asked what I was doing.

"Ding dong! Avon calling!" I said cheerfully holding up a brochure.

"Hey honey! You want an Avon book?" That lady was very nice and gave me her name and number. She asked me a question about an acne product for her son, which I naturally have to look up for her since I don't know anything yet. She also advised me that there was probably no point in leaving a catalog at the house I'd been at since the lady's mother sells Mary Kay.

Next house, the door was sort of barracaded and there was a huge "no soliciting" sign up. Ok. I can take a hint. Next, a place broken up into apartments. Signs of life coming from the second floor, so I climbed up the narrow stairs, very grateful for the treatment I'd recently gotten for my balance. " Would you like an Avon catalog?"

"Oh, I'd love one. I love to look at them, but I never have any extra money." I could see plainly, looking about myself, that was probably true." I'd probably never buy from you. I hate for you to waste one of your catalogs."

"Oh, no, it wouldn't be a waste. You never know, there are sometimes some real bargins in there. You could treat yourself to a little lip balm or hand cream for less than a dollar."

This woman was so nice and so concerned about not taking advantage of the door to door salesperson that I am determined to leave her some lipstick samples once I figure out how to order them!

After that, "Thanks anyway, I buy from a lady at school." Then a senior citizen who looked like a little old angel: if I could be half so lovely at her age I'd consider myself blessed. "Oh, a catalog. Ok, dear. I can't guarentee I'd buy, but sure I'll look. Is your phone number on here? I haven't got my glasses. Good luck!"

Next house, in fact, the attached house was a senior gentleman who shook his fist at me through the door. Bet he's a great neighbor for the lovely lady who lives beside him! I smiled, waved, and moved on.

"Sorry. All men livin' here. Good luck though." ( Man, I need to leave those guys a flyer on cleaning service, I thought peering through the door. Food wrappers EVERYWHERE.)

"Avon? Really? This is so weird! I just used the last of that bubble bath my sister sold me, but she's in Canada. I thought, how the heck am I gonna find an Avon lady down here? Awesome! Hey, didn't my husband meet you and your husband at your yard sale? You've got the big dog, right?...."

This might be easier if I just send Winston around with the catalogs! Still, that was five. I had given away five of them in under an hour, had two pleasant conversations with people who said they would definately buy so I set out for home. I live to fight another day and there are more streets close by!