We went to the same restaurant to eat tonight as we did on on our wedding night. It's right here in town. It's gotten to be a more casual place, I think, and they no longer have such good rolls, but otherwise it's the same.

The Hub and I were married at the courthouse 9 years ago today. We were a lot thinner then.

We were also a lot more anxious. It hadn't been that long - really, looking back on it, it had not been long enough - since his first wife, my best friend, Angela had passed away. And I moved with The Hub into the house they had shared together....I look back on that now and wonder "what was I thinking?"....

But, I wasn't thinking, really. I was In Love, a state which tends to sort of cancel out thinking. At least it did with me. And believe me, that was a weird experience, because I'm thinking all the time. I go through my days thinking all kinds of things like, "I wonder if we need milk? I wonder what they'll call that planet people just found outside the solar system? I wonder if Mr. C.B.'s blood preasure is okay? Why is my tire making that noise? I wonder if I ought to get a rain gauge for the garden? What's the cost to benefit ratio of doing that vs. just taking the time to look for worms?" and so on, all day long.

So this In Love thing was really cool. Because for about a year I hardly thought anything except: "Wow, I'm with this great guy. He likes my cooking, I make him laugh, everything is going to be great. Aw, he left his dirty socks on the bathroom floor. That's so CUTE!"

Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, the person I had been for the last 29 years was frantically setting off an alarm bell that only dimly sounded through the haze.

In Love, of course, does not last forever. But True Love seems to be eternal, or at least it has endured 5 bathroom renovations, including one in which the poor man got his head stuck in the part of the floor board he had cut out for the toilet, the construction of a patio, more painting projects than I can remember, job changes, illnesses, disability, wallpapering, car crashes, the death of one dog, and two cats, layoff's, business ventures, no t.v., the buying and selling of 5 houses, snoring, ants, heartburn, overdrafts, speeding tickets, overdue library books, and two times The Hub lived with his in-laws.

So what is this thing called love? It's more than a feeling, and far more than an endurance test. The Hub is a wonderful guy: he's sensative, smart, has deep faith and an unbreakable code of honor. But he's not Jude Law good looking, he's not without faults, we've had plenty of arguments and there are several things we agree to disagree on ( politics, pacifism, religious practice, violence in movies, taste in music, and beets). The things we do agree on ( Sushi, Bigfoot may exist, dogs are cool, and if something or someone isn't bothering you then let it/them alone) hardly seem like enough to sustain two people through the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. I look at him and wonder, sometimes: what keeps me with him? What is it about him that makes the thought of being without him unbearable to me, even when I'm hoppin' mad at him? Or is it something about me?

I don't think it comes from us. I think Love is like a stream that flows through the world. It flows in expected places, such as between parents and children. But it also flows through unexpected places and connects people in strange ways. People love up close and openly, people love secreately and from afar....but if the Love is real the fruit it bears is more sweet than bitter no matter what the circumstances. It's the force in the world that binds us together, the root of the compassion we feel for disaster victems in far off places and the lump in our throat when we see other people's children who are ill or want for food. And sometimes two people, like me and The Hub, find ourselves on the same current in this divine sea. The view, from where we are, looks very similar, and we are moving in the same direction. We are not just in this current but this current is in us. Maybe it's the initial jolt, the jump into cold water that is the "In Love" experience....but the longer the connection holds the deeper and more a part of us it becomes.

So that's us, bobbing and dancing in the current of Love, holding on to each other, dodging bill collectors and rubbing each other's backs, having a "group hug" with the dog ( who sticks his nose in between us then wiggles his way in) As far as I can tell, with my limited experience of "Romance" ( whatever that is) we've simply gotten lucky, fallen in, gotten connected and it's the Real Deal.

It's lasted 9 years and I hope it lasts forever.