This is an actual conversation with two different pet sitters that I had TWICE in the past two days.

Me: Hi I'm looking for pet sitting the week of the 6th.
PS: Sure no problem, I have openings! What kind of animals do you have?
Me: Well, I have a dog, an English Mastiff -
PS: Oh, they're really big dogs! Like over 150lbs?
Me: Yes Winston is over 200 but he's really very -
PS: Oh, I'm so SORRY! I actually AM booked that week!

The first time, I thought, oh, okay, she mistook her weeks...it's easy to do. The second time I realized: Big dog may equal big problems getting a pet sitter.

"It's probably because they're afraid they'll have to walk him." Queen P. remarked. "You know, most women go about 150 pounds and they don't want to try to walk anything that weighs more than them. And they may be used to labs who often really do pull on a leash. I mean, my chocolate only weighs 80 but he can really take off and there goes your arm out of the socket."

"But Winston doesn't want to go for a walk. He's 4 years old. He doesn't want anything except a belly rub and a cool spot to sleep in."

We're getting down to the wire, here for time. So The Hub has taken to hanging out in the back yard early in the morning when he knows Young Motorhead, our neighbors highly responsible 17 year old son who LOVES Winston, is usually going to work to try to entice him to pet sit.

"Honey, I don't know why you feel like you have to creep around behind the leeland cyprus and then suddenly leap out at him to ask him to dog sit. You could just go around to their front door like a normal person and ASK him."

"Nah. That's not the way men do things."

Oooo-kay.

Finally, I got onto www.petsit.com
which has a directory for members of Pet Sitters International. You type in your zip code and referals come up. I got a lot of answering machines, but finally was able to talk to one lady who is supposed to call me back.

She has an English Mastiff puppy!! I'm thinking Thank God! Someone who will understand my dog. Not that he's hard to understand. He wants to be petted, have some of what you're having for lunch, be petted, go out, sniff the lawn, stick his head through the hedges to see if he can get our other neighbors two year old daughter to pat him on the head, come in, have a drink of water, use your lap as a napkin, take a nap, be petted and so on.

So I really hope she calls me back. Otherwise I'm afraid our young neighbor is going to be really shocked when The Hub jumps out of the bushes to casually mention our vacation plans.