"You know," I said to The Hub as we were rigerously cleaning the house for a 3:00 showing, "we're going to go through all this and the people will look around for five minutes and say 'that's nice' and then leave."

But, it was worse than that. They never showed up at all.

Well, the house needed to be cleaned anyway. Our realtors are having an open house for us here on Sunday, so perhaps some of what I did will be appreciated then. The thing is that this house has been "clutter controlled" to the point where it almost looks like no one lives here...

Realtors and other experts say to do that: to make a house you are trying to sell look as much like a model home as possible. The more "neutral" a house is, the easier it is for prospective buyers to imagine themselves living in the house.

That's what they say. As I've gotten older I've learned that most people make decisions, even really big decisions like buying a house, based on feelings not reasons. I think the more you take down / take out of yourself the less there is for a prospective buyer to object to. I remember that years ago friends of mine were trying to sell a house - a perfectly nice, well kept house. It was decorated in light neutral colors, but it was decorated in the theme of a New England Beach house. The wife was from CT. she wanted to be reminded of "home". The house was here in Maryland. As it happened, almost everyone who looked at the home was African American - the area had always been popular with black professionals since it was a quiet place in the midst of a more diverse section of town.

My friends didn't think anything about it, but the house would not sell. It was well within the price range and guidelines of the people who were looking at it. Feedback was unhelpful. "It's a nice house, it shows well" etc. They did keep getting one bit of feedback that, at first, seemed unhelpful, but they heard it over and over again. "It's just kind of cold." They didn't get it. And they were getting desperate.

Finally, their realtor, who was black, broke through the color / culture barrier and spoke to the wife directly. "These colours in here, the stuff...it doesn't look like 'home' to the people who are seeing it. It's hard to get them to see anything. They come in, get an overall effect, and they don't want to see any more, because they're standing in someplace they don't feel comfortable. What you think of as neutral our prospects are seeing as cold and offputting. I don't care what else you do but you have GOT to get rid of that ice blue powder room and all those sea shells. Black people around here don't go to the beach, it wasn't safe until about 20 years ago. Those starfish don't look cute - they just look dead."

My friend thanked her realtor and hugged her. She took down every personal item in the place, threw a tarp over everything, painted the whole house a warm cream color. After that the house sold for it's asking price in two days.

Of course, that's assuming you can get someone to come SEE the house.

But, nevertheless, I've done my bit. I've cleared off surfaces : no more ceramic fish on top of the fish tank. Nothing on top of the credenza in the office. Nothing on top of the computer desk. No photos on the refrigerator.

Now I don't feel comfortable in here!

I wonder if that isn't, on some level, what sells a house? If the house itself takes on an unsettled, in limbo kind of feeling. If the house, no longer being used as a home by it's residents, who may already be doing some packing or at least speak over the dinner table about greener pastures, absorbs a sort of feeling of motion....and that capitulates it on towards the sale. I've seen so many home sales happen at the last minute, or after one or both parties have given up hope of finding the perfect house / perfect buyer. My Buddhist friends say that attachment the outcome in any activity is sure to work against it.

I wonder if we just ought not to offer a bonus to the selling agent. Or help with closing costs. ( Hmm. There you have your whole Winged Creature -the metaphysical and the practical all rolled into one confused ball. Maybe I AM a cylon!)

Well. I'm open to suggestions.