Tomorrow, I’m going back to the old house to get my china and all the stuff The Hub left in the kitchen. We’re almost completely moved out, but the buyer’s realtor keeps calling and insisting “ that place has to be broom clean!”

When I think about how we got it….when we moved in, there was a drawer full of knives, broken down furniture in the attic, and a tank full of live fish as a “house warming gift”.....

Meanwhile, the settlement has been pushed back to June 2, making me almost scream with frustration. Not that settlements aren’t always subject to moving around – you must have to have the mental flexibility of a Buddhist monk to work in a mortgage settlement office. It’s just that it’s just that the odyssey of this home sale seems to have gone on for so long that two more days is two more than I can take!

Yesterday, I took a bunch of documents down to the settlement company, and they were such a pleasant contrast to the mortgage company. By now, I have practically cast my mortgage company as a dragon with its claws deep in my sides. I can’t count the numbers of hours I’ve been on the phone with them. And they aren’t just rude to me: it’s like they have a policy of rudeness.

When I gave my info to the lady at the settlement company, I said, “let me hang around for a minute while you try to get that payoff figure. Something tells me it could be useful.”

So she got on the phone, and said who she was and why she was calling. “What did you say your name was?” she asked, pleasantly.

“I didn’t.” the man said, loudly and forcefully – I could hear him plainly though I was no where near the receiver. He went on state that he would not deal with “any third party under any circumstances”

“Would you like to speak to Mrs. P? She’s standing right here.”

Whereupon I got the phone.

“Is this Tea?”

“This is Mrs. P. What information do you need?”

“The last four of your social security number!”

They still wouldn’t give the payoff figure over the phone, even though I authorized them to do so. All my being there did was authorize the guy to give the settlement company their fax number!

“For goodness sake, I could have handed the phone to anybody!” the settlement lady said, “I thought they were going to ask you something really complicated like your grandmother’s maiden name or something.”

I hope we complete the sale of this house before I have a nervous breakdown or something. Or at least I hope for a happy kind of insanity.